Alright, I’m back. If you follow my Instagram, you’d know I posted a drawing of my side blog with my fiance and had kind of abandoned everything since.
However, I decided I would keep this handle for myself, for things that I’m interested in like makeup, and to talk about EDS. I had planned to make some posts for Ehlers-Danlos Awareness Month in May, but due to some health problems ironically, and moving since then, things have been insane. In fact, I’m writing this without internet, while I spend on excess GB of data in my new apartment. Suffice to say, it has been a journey. I do still plan to upload those EDS blogs soon, but in the meantime, as always, I’ll do a catch up.
First of all, I finally got a space for my own makeup vanity, complete with ring light and vanity lights! I’m honestly so spoiled by Boh, and I appreciate it all the more because for the past few years, I’d been doing my makeup my leaning over the bed and squinting into a tiny magnifying mirror whose light didn’t work. I didn’t want to be a first world schnip about it, but it did bum me out. This new set up is more than I could have asked for, although we’re still in the process of setting up the area. Moving was insane, and Boh now has shingles (!!!) from all the stress and work, so things are going slowly, especially while I’m pretty useless at helping much. Another thing to feel awful about, but I do what I can to make up for the areas I lack.
I’ll get to my health issues later, but I did want to show a particularly embarrassing photo to highlight the realities of my life. You see, I try very hard to appear normal, and more than normal, and I guess I do well, because people seem not to understand why I can’t do things or haven’t been able to reach the same achievements others have. Being ‘invisibly ill’, apart from the times I have mobility aids or have just come from my latest surgery, there’s not really a way people can see that. Usually it’s just being judged for using the lift to go a couple of floors while I awkwardly and guiltily try not to make eye contact – things like that.
Another way though, and I’ve spoken about this before, is that when I have digestive or hormonal issues, it shows up on my skin. It can be almost immediate, like a red flush, or take a few days to a week to show up, like hives, breakouts, or awful tone and texture, but it will definitely show up. And, in the end, it is my fault, because I know what not to eat in order to avoid it. But for some reason, I always trick myself into justifying things I know just aren’t good for me.
Anyway, I’ve seen some girls doing Mab Graves (one of my favourite artists!) #sickgirlselfie for her #sickgirlsclub on Insta, and thought I’d do my own spin on it, to show a little of what I deal with, just on a day-to-day. Honestly, this is the least of my worries. I’ve had bad skin most of my life, and it’s always difficult, and never 100%, but it still is a confidence knocker when you’re doing everything else right, and something you ate a week ago pukes out through your pores. So, see my before and after for my go-to makeup. Since getting my eyebrows done (another post to come), on bad days I’ll even just wear BB cream and go, since I won’t see many people anyway, but this is what I’ll normally do if I’m going somewhere with friends.
Dang embarrassing, but I want my blog to be a place of honesty, sharing and even advice for other people going through the same things. You probably won’t see me being some crazy perfect Instagram angel, and that’s not really something I want, anyway. I’m always seeking the truth, and the best that can possibly be had in reality. I have nothing against airbrushing, makeup, plastic surgery, etc etc etc, but I don’t see any reason for hiding the reality or the process, either. I figure the people who I would want to share my life with would understand my explanation for things, and if they don’t, well, we don’t have to agree or get along.
Just my thoughts. Let me know if you have similar experiences or have any tips or hacks to share!