So, as you might have garnered from the title, this is an update on life, and in particular, since my surgery. First of all, I have to admit I have been rather absent, but that’s intrinsically connected to the theme.
For a while there, I felt like I was doing quite well. I had to start my next semester over the summer, so I was weaning myself off painkillers, which wasn’t hard, because I didn’t feel like I needed them anyway. However, the surgeon was very disappointed in my lack of progress and muscle atrophy, although I hadn’t had any physio rehab at all, so I started going back to a Brisbane-based physio that specialises in hypermobility (one which has helped me more than any other physio I have ever been to – not just in terms of progress, which is incredible, but in actually understanding and being knowledgeable of what exactly is going on – instead of just pushing me to do thousands of full squats [insanely bad for my knees] or shaming me for not doing more heavy cardio or box jumps [wtf?!?!]) and started improving my mobility and range of motion (rather than having my leg straight out all the time). Okay, this has been extremely tough. So tough in fact, that I’ve had to get another prescription from the surgeon for Gabapentin, an anti-convulsant, because it seems to be the only thing that helps with widespread pain, and especially the nerve pain I’ve been getting, since there is a huge area with loss of sensation. Lately, I’ve felt like there isn’t even half of a day that’s gone by where I don’t have almost crippling pain, to the point of distraction. It exhausts me, but then I toss and turn all night, because my legs ache so badly.
In spite of what I’ve said above, I’m quite happy with recovery overall, at least superficially. My scar is healing fantastically, thanks to Klairs Vitamin C Serum, and massage and stimulation has been helping the scar tissue and numb area. I’ve been bending my knee and walking a lot, which is a huge relief, because I was beginning to feel like a blob ordering everyone to wait on me, hand and…knee (yes, I hate myself extra for that one).
I suspect that it’s because of how the bones in my legs grew (long story short: weirdly), but I find that I simply cannot build up the muscle adequately in my medial quads – on both legs. I gain muscle way too easily in my calves and the lateral quads, however for some reason, nothing seems to be helping, and I’m not at the point yet where I can safely do squats or leg presses. The fact that it’s on the other side too makes me think there’s some weird way I’m walking, or my posture, so I guess I’ll have to talk to the physio about adjusting that, too. Hhhh. The reason it’s so important to build that medial quad is because it helps stabilise the patella – my ITB and lateral quads are way too strong and pull my unstable kneecaps to the outside of their shallow sockets – hence my problem with dislocations, and subsequent surgeries.
Hmm, I’m pretty boring lately. All I do is study, watch Korean dramas, play the Witcher 3 on my (Christmas present) PS4 Pro (wtf, thank you BB!! *_*) and try to get out of the house and explore when I can. Things are pretty uncertain since we don’t know whether we’ll be moving or where, still.
Oh, and we don’t have aircon and live next to a forest on a hill, so it’s been almost unbearably hot, especially with Dysautonomia symptoms…not to mention the fact that the floors somehow started condensating and wouldn’t dry for days?? It was as if they’d just been mopped, no matter what. Super scary for me, considering on my last surgery, I slipped on a mopped floor and tore my incision open.
Things to be Thankful For
I feel like I’m overwhelmingly negative in these blogs, so I want to balance it out with some positive things.
- Feeling healthier and lighter with a tweaked diet that I know works for and helps my situation most
- Being able to get up and be more independent
- Having time with BB and family
- My puppy seems to be tolerating instead of hating me lately
- Able to go to the pool (once…in the seniors rehab pool lol)
- My Irish skin seems to be tanning without burning for the most part?? Finally!
- Able to explore the Coast and Northern NSW – super pretty
- More stable work for BB – yay! *_*
- Able to start planning our lives more – for someone like me, uncertainty is like a constant stress weighing me down
- Planning lots more posts and taking things in a direction I want and am passionate about – stay tuned!
That’s about it for now! Thanks for reading 🙂
Love, Lo x